It's coming

Politics is finally making its way to my blog.

The Daily Struggle

     Yes, I'm alive. It has literally been months since I made a new post. Considering I was dead to the blogging world for what feels like an eternity, I will fill y'all in with a little bit of what has been evolving in my life.

     Well for starters my ass is back in school. After years of fulling and farting around with college and wondering what I wanted to do, I finally found a profession that I absolutely love and one that is a perfect fit for me. Let me add by saying this is the hardest damn thing that I have ever had to do. It has been years since I have been in school and I was terrified to go back. Working on the weekends while trying to raise an out of control gremlin, who is about to be two, is enough to make me want to sell her at a yard sale. Not like a Thursday morning yard sale where you wanna get the best price possible, but a Saturday afternoon at 2 o'clock when you just wanna get rid of the damn thing! Oh the fun stages of a toddler! Anyways you get the point. Also, maintaining a relationship with my now fiancé, yes fiancé, and yes he's crazy, is also something that I have to constantly work at. Kinda like how I am in the process of trying to make dinner, and I am completely incompetent of starting a charcoal grill. It's quite sad, and I had to call Cody to figure out what the hell I was doing! I'm not the best cook! The point is trying to balance all of what I am delt with right now is pretty freaking damn stressful. So if you come and visit me and my house looks like it was destroyed by 10 wild animals, know it's just one two year old who has no manners and can act like an asshole. Oh and also everyone else who lives in the house!

     Since my whole life schedule has changed, I have tried to change as well. I have changed by completely giving up the idea of ever becoming that perfect mom. I don't even try anymore because my life is such a shit show, that I don't even have the opportunity! Plus I now know that there is no such thing. If I'm not trying to keep my child from darting out of the back yard, I'm constantly using a vocabulary that only consists of the word no. Somedays if the devil herself wants mac and cheese for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, well guess what?! I don't care what any mom's social media looks like, life with children is not always unicorns and disney movies. It's get the hell to sleep before mom puts a craigslist add up for your ass, and sends you to off boarding school when your ten! When she finally does fall asleep and you've had three glasses of wine and go and check on her, you cry because you've never seen anything so perfect in your life. Then you wake up and realize you get to do it all over again. It is a constant love hate battle.

     I love my daughter more than life itself and she is reason for all that I do. She is the reason why I put myself under so much stress everyday! I want to be a role model for her to look up to, and I want her to be proud of who her mom is. I want her to know that she can accomplish anything she sets her mind to, even if it seems nearly impossible. Each day is a new day to learn and a new day to overcome obstacles, no matter what you are facing. If shit gets too tough I just give thanks that I'm twenty six with a child and I'm of age to buy wine. Lots of wine.

XOXO,

Adrienne

Slacker

     Ugh, I've been slacking when it comes to my blog! I have just have so much going on. I put my resignation in at work since I start school again in April. I'm in the process of finding a part time job for when school does start, and I have to look for a new sitter or daycare as well. Seriously kill me. Just when I thought everything was working out, nope, just kidding, I'm screwed. It never ends does it? Well I will leave you all with this absolutely adorable picture of my Snow Queen, since I'm way to tired to write anything else. I'll be back this weekend, I promise!

XOXO,

Adrienne

Just a Phase

     Have kids they said. It will be fun they said. Eye roll. Let me just tell you this has been a very stressful couple of months when it comes to my child. You would think that a demon has taken over her body or something. Talk about bad. I literally had to pour myself a glass of wine last night at 6:30, only after being home for and hour and a half. I couldn't take it. Thank god Cody doesn't judge me for it. The fact that he helped me get the bottle out, should tell you something about my night.

     Seriously, when does this whole parenting thing get easier? My child won't eat, she won't listen, whines over everything, she is driving me absolutely crazy! Just this past Sunday she drew blood on my face, after scratching the shit out of me. Really Reagan? Dammit I brought you in this world and I can take you out of it! Isn't that what all of our moms said to us growing up? Oh if Beckie would have been here last night to see this I know exactly what her words would be......"this is your karma". Shit, I should have been better when I was a child. Come to think of it, she is her fathers child as well, and what a hellion he was! No wonder she's so damn bad, look who her parents are. I felt bad after while because I told Cody I was done being her parent, she had me that stressed out. Now we all know that is completely false and that I love that child more than life itself, but for that split second I might have meant it. I know I've said it before, but instructions on my child when she came out, would have been a huge help!

     I know she's only a short couple of months away from turing two but damn, I never thought she would be one going on thirteen. This chick has the attitude of a teenager, and the sass of a twenty one year old who's about to get her period. I can't even handle my own meltdowns at times, let alone Reagan's. Poor Cody, god speed if we have anymore girls. I'm sure he would be on a monthly cycle with the rest of us. So what do you do? Lord knows I have no idea. I just have been winging this whole mom thing for the past eighteen months. Lets face it, she's a girl, she's almost two, and her mother is an emotional wreck eighty percent of the time. Sometimes I just let her freak out for a couple of minutes, and then proceed to ask her if that was actually necessary, which clearly makes things worse. I mean she did just say "more", and when I went to take the bottle to get more, she starts yelling at me screaming "mine". Dammit Reagan I know it's yours. Mama doesn't drink out a purple sippy cup, unless it has a cork on top of it, and it tastes like fermented grapes. This kind of behavior is kind of a good thing for me because it allows me to understand what Cody has been dealing with for the past three years. I have one word for you, Saint. 

      At the end of the day kids are just like us. They feel emotions, stress, anxiety, everything that we feel, just in different ways. They handle it differently. Shit I think Reagan handles things better than I do at times! The last thing I want to do is make my baby feel like she can't express herself, or feel like she has to hide her emotions. I've started to let it bother me less, or at least I'm trying too. I tend to maybe yell a little too much, and I don't try to actually figure out whats wrong. Maybe she won't eat because she had a late lunch at the sitters. Maybe she's fussy because her teeth hurt, or because Disney Junior is over, and she wasn't done watching Doc. McStuffins. I know that I need be understanding and patient when it comes to her, because since she can't tell me what's wrong, as a mom its my job to try and figure it out the best I can. It will come with time though, and it will pass just as quickly as it came. Soon enough she's going to be packing her room and heading off to college, so I better start appreciating all the time I do have with her, because before I know it, it will be gone. Now I need tissues. On the bright side. One day when she is stressed the hell out, I can pour her a glass of wine as well, and unwind with my best friend. 

    

Short, sweet, and too the point

     I love my boyfriend. I really do. I know it may not always seem that way, but I do. I just talk about what people leave out on social media. You're welcome! We are far from perfect and the couples that claim to be are full of shit! We have our ups and downs, and topics that we don't always agree on just like everyone else. I wanted to make a short post tonight since its late and I'm super tired, due to a couple glasses of wine! Yes, I know it's Wednesday but I have off all this week, so basically this is my vacation!

     Anyways, we all have those things that bother the shit out of us when it comes to our significant others! I could make a list and go on and on, but I will not do that to Cody! On his defense he could probably write one for me as well! I've gotten to the point where I just shake my head and move on, it's not worth it! Moms we need to pick our battles, and when we can't, we blog it! I mean really? Your name is written all over that. Literally! Love you babe, even though the simplest things in life, are the hardest for you. Like putting the dishes in the sink. 

Mom vs Mom

     Lets talk about moms for a little today. Do you ever notice how there is always a competition to see who's the better mom? I do, and it annoys the shit out of me. Arn't we supposed to be in this together? Why do so many of us shoot other moms down? I just don't get it. This doesn't just go for moms, it goes for women in general.

     Women are such bitches. I never realized how annoying we all are until I become a mom. Why is it whenever someone asks if I had an epidural, it's always followed with "Oh, I had an all natural birth"? Really? I'm pretty sure you asked me, and do you want a cookie? Why not just say congrats on carrying a small human around for 9 months, and pushing it out of your lady parts. You use Tylenol when you have a headache, so what's wrong with meds when you're having a baby?! Ugh. Let me just say even with the drugs I still felt everything, and thirty minutes into pushing I was done. I didn't wanna do it anymore! I'll never forget asking my pregnant nurse why the hell she decided to do it once more. Pretty sure I never want to experience that terrible thing ever again, or at least not until I forget about it!

     Feeding, don't even get me started with feeding. As long as you're feeding your child does it matter how you do it? Every mom is different and every baby is different. As a mother you do what's best for you and your baby. I really don't care how you do it or when you do it its all fantastic. Reagan was on formula, I wasn't comfortable breast feeing so thats what we went with! I would have people tell me that breast is best and way better for the baby. Oh I'm sorry, do you know my child? Do you know my life? I also had guys telling me this. Really? When you have a chid come out of your penis, then you can tell me what you think is right! Reagan also had reflux and she needed special formula with the proteins already broken down, but thanks for your uneducated opinion!

     I also wanted to bring up this topic. I work full time and I will be starting school again in April. I want to have a career and a family, and there should be nothing wrong with that! I want my daughter to have everything and more, and that requires me to finish school. Its also important to me to finish. I wanna prove to my daughter, and myself that you can do whatever you set your mind to, regardless of the obstacles. I love my daughter, but I would lose my mind being home 24/7. Work sometimes is a break for me,but on on a good day! That's my life, and it may not be for everyone. No matter what you do, you should never be judged. If you wanna stay home with your kiddies that's great too! It's whatever works for you and your family, and don't ever let anyone make you feel like you're doing the wrong thing. It's becoming more and more expensive to be a working parent and it's freaking ridiculous. So I completely get staying home, and if it wasn't for friends and family, I wouldn't be able to work.

     As mothers we should be building each other up, instead of picking at every little thing that we can. Congrats! You showered today, did your makeup, and your chid is still alive and kicking! Good job mama, that's a win. The world be such a better place if we encouraged one other, and embraced everyones way of raising a child. At the end of the day we all are still losing our shit and pouring ourselves that bottle of wine! Cheers mamas you've made it through yet another day!

   



   

   

Winning at Parenthood

     I have those moments where I think, damn I really got this parenting thing down. It's not so bad.  Then I hear Reagan throw her bottle down the floor vent, and all of that goes to shit. So basically that thought lasted about 5 seconds, and now I'm cleaning milk out of my duct, trying not to curse. Dammit usually slips out and is repeated several times, along with why. Why does my child do this? What makes her do these ridiculous things? That then causes me fear about the calls I'll be getting when she starts school. "Reagan spilled her juice on the floor and screamed dammit in front of the other kids". As any great parent would do, I will deny of any words being used like that in the household, and remind Reagan when she gets home that only mom can talk like that! By the way I googled what that was called, and duct came up. I don't know about you but I learned something today, and if Cody saw the google history he would completely make fun of me. PS he's a carpenter, I should know better.

     Here is how I know I'm winning at the end of they day. If I make it there.

1. I still have a kid.
2. I actually got to shower alone, in peace, without my child screaming like a wild banshee outside the door.
3. I actually got a shower.
4. During the meltdown in TjMaxx, I kept calm as if  I was Mother Teresa herself.  
5. I walkout of TjMaxx without buying the Elsa doll I bribed her with during her meltdown.
6. I only had to count to two
7. The phrase "good decision" was used most frequently than "don't even". 
8. When she handed me my empty wine glass, and said more.
9. I got to drink my coffee, without it ending up on the floor, or finding pacifiers in the bottom of the mug.
10. There is a pacifier actually in sight. 
11. All of the wipes are still in the original container, instead of in her mouth.
12. I still have hair, and a little bit of my sanity. Key word LITTLE.

     The fact that I'm still able to function at 9 o'clock is a damn miracle, but you know what? It's all worth it. I love that little girl more than life itself, and I honestly don't know where I'd be without her.  Despite what kind of absurd things I  deal with on the daily, I always find a way to make it work. Even if that means Reagan learns the work dammit a little sooner.  Anything that my day, or my child throws at me I'm always prepared, because I have coffee in my pot, and I know exactly where every wine store within a fifty mile radius is. Thanks Google maps, you do come in handy.