Well for starters my ass is back in school. After years of fulling and farting around with college and wondering what I wanted to do, I finally found a profession that I absolutely love and one that is a perfect fit for me. Let me add by saying this is the hardest damn thing that I have ever had to do. It has been years since I have been in school and I was terrified to go back. Working on the weekends while trying to raise an out of control gremlin, who is about to be two, is enough to make me want to sell her at a yard sale. Not like a Thursday morning yard sale where you wanna get the best price possible, but a Saturday afternoon at 2 o'clock when you just wanna get rid of the damn thing! Oh the fun stages of a toddler! Anyways you get the point. Also, maintaining a relationship with my now fiancé, yes fiancé, and yes he's crazy, is also something that I have to constantly work at. Kinda like how I am in the process of trying to make dinner, and I am completely incompetent of starting a charcoal grill. It's quite sad, and I had to call Cody to figure out what the hell I was doing! I'm not the best cook! The point is trying to balance all of what I am delt with right now is pretty freaking damn stressful. So if you come and visit me and my house looks like it was destroyed by 10 wild animals, know it's just one two year old who has no manners and can act like an asshole. Oh and also everyone else who lives in the house!
Since my whole life schedule has changed, I have tried to change as well. I have changed by completely giving up the idea of ever becoming that perfect mom. I don't even try anymore because my life is such a shit show, that I don't even have the opportunity! Plus I now know that there is no such thing. If I'm not trying to keep my child from darting out of the back yard, I'm constantly using a vocabulary that only consists of the word no. Somedays if the devil herself wants mac and cheese for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, well guess what?! I don't care what any mom's social media looks like, life with children is not always unicorns and disney movies. It's get the hell to sleep before mom puts a craigslist add up for your ass, and sends you to off boarding school when your ten! When she finally does fall asleep and you've had three glasses of wine and go and check on her, you cry because you've never seen anything so perfect in your life. Then you wake up and realize you get to do it all over again. It is a constant love hate battle.
I love my daughter more than life itself and she is reason for all that I do. She is the reason why I put myself under so much stress everyday! I want to be a role model for her to look up to, and I want her to be proud of who her mom is. I want her to know that she can accomplish anything she sets her mind to, even if it seems nearly impossible. Each day is a new day to learn and a new day to overcome obstacles, no matter what you are facing. If shit gets too tough I just give thanks that I'm twenty six with a child and I'm of age to buy wine. Lots of wine.
XOXO,
Adrienne
